Being Nice

By: Kandice Thorn

First, I must confess that this is a topic I have been wanting to address for some time, but I have been a little lost as to the right way to approach the subject. The gist is something that should be quite obvious: if you are nice, people will like you and want to help you; if you are mean, people will not like you and not want to help you.

But the subtlety of the topic is that it is not just about being "nice"; it is about maintaining a positive demeanor in all of your personal interactions. It is about being deferential instead of demanding; being flexible rather than anxious and impatient; being collaborative instead of competitive. Speaking from my own experience, I find that I am the most demanding/impatient/competitive when I am under high levels of stress.  Unfortunately, law school studies are not known for reducing stress levels. Here are a few tips to help you reduce your stress and maintain a positive attitude:

• Get outside. Don't bury yourself in the library all day. Schedule some time to go out for a quick walk around Lincoln Center or over to Central Park. Studies have shown that this can improve your mood. These studies didn't focus on Lincoln Center and Central Park specifically, but I can only assume that the results would have been even more dramatic if the participants had such beautiful scenery at their disposal.
• Exercise. This is related to the first point, but making time for exercise can also combat depression and improve your mood.
• Get your sleep. If anyone has found a way to operate happily on very little sleep, please drop a comment below. 
• Set realistic goals. Achieving goals makes us feel good. But when we set goals that are too unrealistic, we find ourselves constantly disappointed. Set achievable goals each day, and pat yourself on the back when you finish them.  
• Be flexible. Know that things won't always go as planned, and be prepared to go with the flow when things change on a dime.
• Be grateful. Spend some time each day thinking about what you are grateful for in your life.  
• Surround yourself with positive people. A positive attitude is contagious; so is a negative one. So focus on building relationships with people who radiate happy energy. Likewise, if someone is dragging you down, think about limiting the time you spend with that person.

It may not be immediately obvious, but over time, by adjusting your attitude, you may find that good things start happening to you.